Ich Liebe Es

Mouth-watering musings on McDonald's in Britain and Germany

At the end of last year, American fast food chain McDonald’s announced plans to greatly expand its presence in the German market, intending to open 25 new branches in 2025, with a further 75 new outlets for each of the following three years.

More recently, McDonald’s posted its Q1 25 results, revealing a 3.6% decline in sales in the US compared to the same period the previous year. The biggest drop seen since the pandemic. Nor was this unique to the restaurant’s home market, but part of a global trend of declining sales, including poor results for Germany and Britain.

Some are putting this down to customers avoiding the brand due to its close association with Donald Trump.

Trump’s pre-election McDonald’s stunt was a blessing and a curse for the fast -food chain

All these company financials and press releases seemed like a good excuse to write a piece not just about Germany or German history, but also to reflect on my own fondness for McDonald’s. Which the experience of visiting, as the sales figures may indicate, I have found far less enjoyable recently.

Not to imply that McDonalds was ever a 5* dining experience, but indulging in their food was nevertheless a cheap, reliable and enjoyable treat. Something which, increasingly cannot be said about a visit to most of their outlets in the UK today.

I’ve always loved a cheeky McDonald’s. Be it as an occasional lunchtime treat, the end point of a drunken night out, or, arguably best of all, the breakfast. The 10.30am cut off, recently extended to 11am, has always made it a special treat only to be enjoyed on rare occasions.

Tim Anderson’s recent post about the superiority of McDonald’s to Burger King struck a note – both are essentially fairly terrible compared to other burger options, but McDonald’s nevertheless always hits the spot in a way Burger King never does.

My own McDonald’s journey (indoctrination?) started like most people’s as a child. I remember the joy of a Saturday afternoon driving to the McDonald’s with my parents for a Happy Meal. To be honest I think my parents enjoyed collecting the tat more than I ever did; a theory supported by the fact that most of these toys are still boxed up in my their loft, slowing making their way on eBay.

My own children (2 and 6) are becoming more interested in McDonald’s. An interest which I could probably do more to discourage, but I struggle to say no to the golden arches when anyone suggests a visit. Naturally their primary aim is always getting a Happy Meal, which always seem a little naff compared to what I remember from my childhood. Though credit where credit’s due, I do love the option of a book, and the disposable crap is at least largely cardboard as opposed to plastic landfill.

Trips to McDonalds continued throughout my teenage and student years. Be they lunchtime excursions from school as certain friends started driving, or hungover cures at university. It has remained an end destination for drunken nights out ever since.

Sad as I am I usually try to sneak in a McDonalds visit on holidays when my wife will allow. I find it interesting to note the little differences in each location; a beef-free, largely vegetarian menu at a branch near my former company’s Hyderabad office in India on a business trip; Hokkaido Milk Pies in Japan from the country’s northern island famed for its diary; I’ve even visited the ‘world’s coolest McDonald’s’ in Taupo, New Zealand.

One of the many locally themed items in Japan

You author outside the officially coolest McDonald’s in the world. Was pretty cool, I guess

When I moved to Heilbad Heiligenstadt in Germany there were no McDonald’s nearby, which was probably a good thing. The nearest was in the city of Göttingen, a good 30 minutes by car or longer by unreliable German trains. Though plenty of Döner options and traditional German food meant I never really missed it (I’ve discussed my love of German cuisine previously).

Given the scarcity of branches near me when I lived there, I’ve never really associated McDonald’s very much with Germany. But of course, this is inaccurate.

Germany has 1,368 McDonald’s outlets at the time of writing, to the UK’s 1,456. Not a huge difference and Germany seems likely to overtake if current expansion plans are followed through. The latest available data on total sales and sales per capita already put Germany slightly ahead of the UK.

One could argue that McDonald’s holds a more significant place in German history than the UK. I’ve spoken before about how significant the US and its special relationship with Germany has been historically.

The first branch opened in Germany before it did in Britain. In fact, the branch that opened in Munich in 1971 was the very first in Europe. A sign of how important the promotion of American brands and the capitalist lifestyle was in Germany as the front line of the Cold War. Few things epitomise American consumer culture more than Coca Cola and McDonalds.

McDonalds like most big western brands saw opportunities to expand after the fall of the Berlin Wall in November 1989. The first branch opened shortly after unification in December 1990 in Plauen, Saxony. It was met with consternation in some quarters, as this article from the time shows. But most viewed it as a symbol of their new freedom and escape from the shackles of Soviet oppression.

McDonald’s Plauen, Saxony - looks considerably nicer than my local Tooting branch

I thought little about the historical and symbolic significance of McDonalds in the former east when I lived there. My main memories are the stores generally being cleaner than in Britain, with staff who spoke better English. And of course, always being asked if I wanted ‘Ketchup oder Mayo’? Mayonnaise with chips seemed odd to me at first but I grew to love it like a good European. British visitors to German McDonald’s will also be surprised one can order a beer there. Something which the company wisely deemed UK customers could not be trusted with.

But it was the speed, or rather slowness of the process, I used to find frustrating. I’ve noticed this time again on many trips to Germany. Self-service screens seem only to have made the whole experience slower. I’ve sometimes wondered whether the German mind is not naturally compatible with McDonald’s – too reflective and philosophical for the speedy churn required to order and consume the junk food at the necessary speed.

However, what was previously one of the downsides of a German McDonald’s, now seems to be the case in the UK branches, which are often now so slow they can barely be called fast food. Nor are the prices even that competitive any more.

One reason for the decline in enjoying McDonalds stems from the self-service machines. They make the restaurants feel soulless and unstaffed. We recently visited the branch in Leatherhead, a well-heeled commuter town in Surrey, for breakfast after a camping trip. With no tills or signs at all other than the self-service machines it felt clinical. Staff only emerged to bring out orders, almost every aspect of which was wrong as always seems to be the case since the machines took over.

More significant was the introduction of delivery services. This was something I’d always longed for but the reality is just marked up prices for food that’s stone cold by the time it reaches your house. It means that most branches now are largely populated by helmeted delivery drivers waiting for orders. Anyone eating in the branch must now wait an eternity to have a meal which used to ready almost instantly.

I’ve seem two full-on punch-ups among the delivery drivers in my local Tooting branch. Watching drivers knock gherkins out of each other in front of me really soured the taste of my Big Mac.

McDonalds isn’t going anywhere and despite the shoddy service and against my better judgement, I’ll no doubt keep visiting. But as Britain and Germany, like much of the world, starts to drift away from America, then perhaps the appeal of its most famous food will lose its appeal. Something that doesn’t sadden me as much as it would have a few years ago.

Who knows, perhaps this is a chance for Britain to start enjoying more German fast food. Currywurst and pommes certainly sound more appealing that a cold, badly stacked over-priced Big Mac these days.